There are lots of different approaches that might be used in sex therapy, but mainly it is talk therapy, or skills based therapy.
Here are 3 things you might do in sex therapy:
1. Improve sexual communication: communicating better increases capacity to successfully work to manage sexual difficulties, but it tends to be one of the hardest things for couples to talk about. Whether it be because of challenges in feeling able to articulate oneself, having a lack of confidence in expressing one’s opinion, or worry about hurting a partner’s feelings, barriers to good communication can sometimes feel insurmountable. A therapist can help you develop better communication skills, plan ahead for what you want to say, or directly facilitate conversations between couples while they learn the skills to communicate on their own.
2. Get sex “re-education”: this involves for example, learning about human sexual response including what is “normal” (hint: this often includes far more than we tend to initially think) and not, and examining our assumptions and expectations about what sex “should” be. Starting to think about where we learned some of these messages about sex, from a critical lens, is often an important first step to building awareness of how these assumptions might be holding us back. Education about sexuality may be best done by a sex therapist, however, you can begin to examine beliefs and assumptions about sex in other types of therapy and in your own self-reflection.
3. Increasing sexual rewards: we keep doing things that are rewarding. A big element of sex therapy involves helping people to develop positive and rewarding sexual experiences, no matter what kinds of sexual activities those experiences include – Note - this doesn’t always have to include intercourse, or even partnered sex! For some people sex is stressful, leads to conflict, feelings of inadequacy, or even experiences of pain. We usually work together to “re-write the script”, making sexual experiences more flexible in terms of achieving “success,” safer in response to vulnerability, with partners are accepting and encouraging, and with outcomes that are mutually rewarding. A skilled sex therapist can often help clients work to set up experiences so that they are positive and rewarding, and with time, these begin to replace distressing sexual patterns.
If you are a resident of Alberta (or some Canadian provinces (See Selena's bio), you can reach out to Walker Psych practitioners for a consult to find out whether sex therapy is right for you.
Disclaimer: The content offered in this blog is the content of Dr. Lauren Walker. Answers to questions are not exhaustive and are offered as potential ideas to begin to address sexual questions and concerns. The answers are not meant to replace medical advice or psychotherapy, and are included for educational and entertainment purposes.
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